Unlike the first Dreamkiller, the second is one that we all face. We must conquer it in order to fulfill our dreams. The second reason you haven’t achieved your dreams is simple – FEAR.
When I talk about fear, I mean the old-fashioned, sweaty palms, chills up your spine kind of fear. Fear that robs our energy and kills our dreams.
Fear may present itself be because we were told we were not good enough. Fear arises because we have never done what we want to do. Fear paralyzes us because we know someone who was smarter, prettier, richer or just luckier than we are who failed.
Fear is real (although it is entirely in your head). Some people like to use platitudes about fear to say it is nothing, but it is. Overcoming fear takes work, mental conditioning and a support network.
You have to meet fear head on. Sometimes you lose, but hopefully you win even more.
When I battle fear, my response to fear is simple. I might not be good enough NOW…but I can be someday. I may not have done it before…but if I do it TODAY that won’t be the same story tomorrow. I may not be as attractive, smart or lucky as the next girl or guy, but I’m going to reach for my dreams anyway. I try to envision myself being successful and then I act fast on my dreams before I lose my nerve.
I also enlist A LOT of help. In our mastermind group, we deal with fear directly. When one of us has fears (and we have them often), we go into a series of discussions about what is the worst thing that can happen. While it may not always be pretty, the worst case scenario is an acceptable risk for our dreams to come true.
One of my mastermind members, Broderick often talks about the time he spent 24 hours outside with no money. The experiment simulates what would happen if he was homeless. Often, the best way to get over a fear is to try to experience it firsthand.
Most of the people in my mastermind group have experienced unemployment. We have unfortunately dealt with bill collectors, serious illness and even the death of parents. None of that has deterred us from focusing on what is important to us. I am sure you have experienced much of the same. We have not achieved everything we want, but I’m positive we can with the help and encouragement from our loved ones.
Fear is there now, but it doesn’t have to stay with us. Find a friend, fail fast and keep trying until fear is the furthest thing from your mind.
Stay tuned for part 3 of The Dreamkillers. In that installment, we deal with my personal pet peeve of all Dreamkillers.