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Overcoming Your Fear Factors: I can? I will. I have to!!

by David

Sometimes it is best to face your fears when your back is against the wall.

Three versions of you are fighting to overcome the obstacles in your life. There is the you that can, the you that will, and the you that has to. But, which one leads to success?


I can? (The Dreamer)

Let’s meet the Dreamer. You all remember being a kid while dancing in front of the mirror and dreaming to become a rock star. Maybe you liked to collect bugs, write, or play sports?  There is something (no matter how great or small) that each one of us likes to do.  We all have certain interests, hobbies, or gifts that are unique to us.

The Dreamer is filled with passion about these gifts, but they can’t overcome the doubts and fears of realizing their gift. Dreamers often think, “What if I’m not good enough.” Or,  “What if people laugh at me?” The Dreamer never progresses because they are caught up in the dream. Dreamers would prefer to do nothing rather than deal with the disapproval of others. Besides…actually doing something interrupts the dream.

I will. (The Doer)

Now, meet the Doer. The Doer is motivated by getting his or her hands dirty. Doers experience a rush of confidence or a strong sense of purpose from putting a plan into motion.

You know this person. They have to keep moving and they often start on something before they even know how to finish it. Doers enjoy being in constant motion because they fear being still. Doers feel that sleep is the cousin of death and that idle hands reflect incompetence.  The Doer keeps it moving, but sometimes they lack a destination. The Doer is admirable for their work ethic, but they often fail to complete a project.

I have to!!  (The Finisher)

We finally come to the Finisher. Dreams and passions are icing on the cake for a Finisher.  A Finisher understands that enjoying your life or career isn’t necessary for survival. Just finishing the job is necessary for survival.  The Finisher has that “Get Rich or Die Trying” syndrome. The Finisher doesn’t define his or her actions in terms of motivation or drive because there is no possibility for failure.

The Finisher is the most successful on paper, but they are not necessarily happy. Most people define happiness as a good quality of life or a state of balance. The Finisher is never truly balanced. They get a rush from finishing a project- just so they can start another. There will always be another pay raise, another career opportunity, and another dollar to make. The Finisher doesn’t finish until they are finished.


I can? +  I will. + I have to!! =  I DID!!!!!!

Truly successful people embody all three versions of themselves. They have the Dreamer’s passion, mixed with a Doer’s work ethic, but held together with a Finisher’s drive.

In the end, it is better to confront your fears and advance your life from the question mark of “I can?” to the exclamation points of “I have to!!” There is an “I” in success, but it has to be motivated by the right to dream, the will to do, and the determination to finish.

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